Life is full of stories, and I’m a storyteller. Perhaps it comes from my Irish ancestry. Perhaps it comes from my delight in hearing my father’s stories on the rare occasions he could be nudged into telling them. Writing is in my blood, and storytelling tends to be the expression.
When I began posting about my dating experience, it was largely at the prompting of a friend who wanted to hear the stories of my travels with an open heart. I took up the challenge because there seemed to be so many misconceptions about what it means to be over the age of sixty, let alone over the age of sixty and dating. Not all of us have put ourselves out to pasture at that age. Many of us view life as an ongoing adventure that we don’t want to waste, and many of us still consider love and a sex life as part of that adventure.
So I began blogging about my dating experience. I did so more than two months into that experience and after having my first bruised heart under my belt. I have tried to be kind on the page to the men I’ve dated, but I have done that while also being honest about my experience and my feelings. I have sometimes been philosophical and sometimes been more frank about sensuality and sexuality than some readers might have preferred. Hopefully, I have done both with at least a bit of appreciation for the humor in being human.
When I began the blog, I did so knowing that it might scare of a few men. My attitude was that any man scared off by the blog probably did not have the maturity, open-mindedness, and self-confidence for me anyway. I am not a wallflower, nor am I very guarded. But I did not anticipate where the writing would take me, nor did I anticipate just how the writing would be taken by the men who read it. I also did not anticipate how many men would put effort into vetting potential dates.
I told men I dated about the blog at the first meeting. It seemed only fair. I also changed my profile, stripping out information that might identify me, to improve my chances of actually having that first date. I didn’t like doing that, but I began to understand that many–or even most–people are not as open as me. A little less information might be helpful.
Now, more than eight months into it, I have decided to cease blogging about my dating experience. A big part of that is the result of being weary of scaring men off. But it is more than that. When I did an internal scan for the energy around continuing to do this writing, I found that I could feel no energy around it. And for me, that says it all. If I experience an internal sense of energy around something, I know that it is the right thing for me to do. If what I feel instead is a kind of energy black hole, I know that it is not the right thing for me to do.
Will I give up the online dating process? No. Not at this point anyway. I’m just taking my experience of it off-line. And it is the experience that is primary.
Will I have something else to say on this blog? Probably. Eventually. Over the years, the subject matter about which I have written has changed depending on what is going on in my life and what I have the juice to write about. I have to say, though, I’ve had more fun writing about my dating experience than anything else I’ve written about in some time. To that extent, it has returned to me more than I have given it.
If you are single and dating, all the best to you. If you are over the age of fifty and using online dating as a vehicle for it, I bow to you. You have guts, trust, and at least some sense of romance in your makeup. I’m with you.
If you want an ear, you can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or just comment on this post.
Thank you for following these posts.
Blowing kisses at you,
Copyright 2017 by Melanie Mulhall