I’m not foolish enough to think that the reason for my seeing a man is always obvious. Beyond human ken or conscious planning, events and meetings are often orchestrated in ways that lead the clueless human to believe that she is the composer and is in control. I know better, and I like to stay loose and aware, open to synchronicity and acquiescent to the hand of guidance.
Ron had only been a widower for a year and a half. That gave me pause, eliciting memories of Derek and how he had not been ready for a new relationship after a similar period of time following his wife’s death. But Ron had reached out to me, and I wanted to be open to the possibilities. He had sold his house and most of his possessions, moved from the East Coast to Colorado, and was ready for new adventures. He appeared to be an active, outdoorsy sort of man.
We met within a couple of days of our initial online contact, and I knew within the first couple of minutes that this was not going to be one of the great romances of our times. He was perhaps 5’8″ and small framed, a slight man. And while I am small myself, slight men seldom appeal to me. I like my men to have some physical substance to them–enough musculature that I know I’m in the presence of the opposite sex. He was a few years younger than me, but he seemed older and somewhat caved in on himself. And his energy field was full of the past. He might have wanted to be ready for new adventures, but I doubted he was.
We chatted over drinks. Not only did I reveal that I blog about my dating experience (something I get out in the open as soon as possible when I meet a man), but I told him that I had spent a year blogging about my late husband’s journey toward death. We had widowhood in common, and he seemed to want to talk about his late wife: their relationship, her illness, her death. He came close to tears a time or two as he talked.
And then an interesting thing happened. His dead wife began to come through to me. I am deeply psychic and yes, dead people sometimes come through when I do psychic readings. And yes, Derek’s wife had communicated with me when he and I were dating, but she had never come through while he was with me and had never asked me to convey a message. She seemed to know that this was not something he could have easily received, at least not from me. But Ron’s wife seemed eager for me to let Ron know that she was there, talking to me.
Fortunately, Ron was not only open to it, he seemed somehow unsurprised, albeit a bit tentative. I asked if he wanted to hear what I was getting. He did. The rest of our conversation was punctuated with comments by Ron’s dead wife whenever she had something to say.
We talked through drinks and dinner. Three and a half hours after meeting, we left the pub. He walked me to my Forester, but made a stop at his SUV, which was parked near mine. He opened the hatch, pulled out a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and presented them to me. Had he simply wanted to avoid embarrassing his date by bringing them into the pub or had he held them until he knew he would actually want to give them to his date? Whatever his motivation for keeping them until that moment, it was a lovely gesture.
I told him that while I did not think we were meant to be romantically involved, I did know that we were meant to meet. He understood. As it turned out, He’d read Suzane Northrop’s book, Everything Happens for a Reason.
I was pretty sure his dead wife had orchestrated our meeting so she could communicate with her husband. And I was happy to be the conduit.
It didn’t contribute to my dating life, but it did contribute to Ron’s peace of mind. That was enough for me. And as I drove home, it occurred to me that Ron’s wife had probably ordered the flowers for me from the other side.
Note: The names Derek and Ron are fictitious and have been used out of respect for the men involved.
Copyright 2016 by Melanie Mulhall
Tags: blog about dating, dating, dating past fifty, dead people, Everything Happens for a Reason, guidance, online dating, psychic, psychic readings, Suzane Northrop, talking to the dead, widow, widower, widowhood